"But My Anger is Justified"
Some view their anger as justified because they are right and others are wrong. They believe that being right is the only ticket required to launch into an adult temper tantrum. But saying "He made me angry" implies that external events require emotional intensity. The dad who links the trigger (what "made" him angry) and response (what he does with his anger) too closely ends up believing that others have made him the way he is.
When parents do this, they often blame their kids for problems and rarely take responsibility for their own emotions. In many cases, of course, the child is indeed wrong. It isn't helpful, though, to expect our children to bear the responsibility of our anger in addition to what they did wrong. The mom who says, "I wouldn't have to get angry if my kids would listen the first time," has fallen into the trap of blaming her children for her angry responses.
The truth of the matter is that it doesn't take much intelligence to see something wrong, but it takes wisdom to know how to respond to it. There's a big difference between a button that pops up on a turkey to announce that it's done and a cook who knows how to make a great dinner. Some people are like those little turkey buttons—whenever something goes wrong they pop up with angry reactions and they try to justify abusiveness because they see a problem.
It's not enough to be right in life; parents also need to be wise. Real wisdom knows how to respond in a way that brings change, not revenge. As parents, we don't just want to punish our kids for doing something wrong; we want to help them change their hearts. Anger may reveal what's wrong, but it's rarely a good solution to a problem. Once you identify an offense, it's best to consider how to motivate change.
This parenting tip comes from the book Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN,BSN.
Monday, February 8, 2010
How to Show Your Man You Love Him
The best way to show love for someone is to simply and intentionally pray for them.
If you are happily married and especially, if you are struggling in your marriage, the man you married should be the first one you pray for daily. Even if you are no longer married, praying for the father of your children is very important as he probably still has some influence in their lives.
Let’s Pray:
Dear Lord, I pray for my husband, from head to toe.
His Head –That he will look to You as Lord of his life. (1 Corinthians 11:3)
His Mind – That he will have the mind of Christ and think as the Holy Spirit would lead him and not the flesh. (1 Corinthians 2:16)
His Eyes –That You will keep his eyes from temptation and that he will turn his eyes from sin. (Matthew 6:13, Mark 9:47)
His Ears – That he will hear Your still small voice instructing him. (1 Kings 19:1, Psalm 32:8)
His Mouth – That his words will be pleasing to You. (Proverbs 19:1)
His Neck – That he will humble himself before You and be strong, courageous, and careful to do everything written in Your Word so that he will be prosperous and successful. (James 4:10, Joshua 1:8-9)
His Heart – That he will love and trust You with his whole heart. (Deuteronomy 6:5, Proverbs 3:5)
His Arms – That You will be his strength. (Psalm 73:26)
His Hands – That he will enjoy the work of his hands and see it as a gift from You. (Ecclesiastes 3:13, 5:19)
His Feet – That You will order his steps and that he will walk in Your truth. (Proverbs 4:25, Psalm 26:3)
-Sharon Jaynes
An additional idea is to write out the verses on an index card and add picture of your husband to back.
If you are happily married and especially, if you are struggling in your marriage, the man you married should be the first one you pray for daily. Even if you are no longer married, praying for the father of your children is very important as he probably still has some influence in their lives.
Let’s Pray:
Dear Lord, I pray for my husband, from head to toe.
His Head –That he will look to You as Lord of his life. (1 Corinthians 11:3)
His Mind – That he will have the mind of Christ and think as the Holy Spirit would lead him and not the flesh. (1 Corinthians 2:16)
His Eyes –That You will keep his eyes from temptation and that he will turn his eyes from sin. (Matthew 6:13, Mark 9:47)
His Ears – That he will hear Your still small voice instructing him. (1 Kings 19:1, Psalm 32:8)
His Mouth – That his words will be pleasing to You. (Proverbs 19:1)
His Neck – That he will humble himself before You and be strong, courageous, and careful to do everything written in Your Word so that he will be prosperous and successful. (James 4:10, Joshua 1:8-9)
His Heart – That he will love and trust You with his whole heart. (Deuteronomy 6:5, Proverbs 3:5)
His Arms – That You will be his strength. (Psalm 73:26)
His Hands – That he will enjoy the work of his hands and see it as a gift from You. (Ecclesiastes 3:13, 5:19)
His Feet – That You will order his steps and that he will walk in Your truth. (Proverbs 4:25, Psalm 26:3)
-Sharon Jaynes
An additional idea is to write out the verses on an index card and add picture of your husband to back.
Good Morning, Family!
Yankee Spoiler
1 cup cooked grits (1 cup water and 3 Tablespoons of "Quick Grits")
1 3/4 cup milk, heated in the microwave
1 stick of butter, melted
4 eggs, beaten
1 box Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix
1 lb. Jimmy Dean Hot Sausage, browned with grease drained off
1 1/2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
Combine all ingredients except cheese. Pour into a greased casserole dish. Top with cheese. Bake at 325 for 45-50 minutes. YUM!!!
Family Style French Toast
INGREDIENTS:
2/3 cup packed brown sugar
½ cup butter, melted
2 tsp. ground cinnamon
6-8 eggs, lightly beaten
2 cups milk
1 loaf Texas toast bread
Jelly-Roll Pan
DIRECTIONS:
Combine brown sugar and cinnamon. Spread evenly over the bottom of a greased jelly roll pan. Drizzle melted butter over top of the sugar mixture. Combine milk and eggs in mixing bowl. Dip each slice of bread in and soak, then lay on top of sugar mixture in single layer of entire pan. Pour any remaining egg mixture over top of slices. Bake uncovered at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes until golden brown.
Pecan Pie Muffins
1 c light brown sugar
1 c pecans, chopped
1/2 c flour
2/3 c butter, melted
2 eggs, beaten
Spray 20 mini muffin cups with nonstick spray (I used butter); set aside. Preheat the oven to 350.
In a medium bowl, mix all of the ingredients together. Spoon the batter into the muffin cups evenly.
Don’t overfill the cups!
Bake for 18-20 minutes. The edges will be crispy. Do not over bake. Remove the muffins and cool on a wire rack.
~Freeze~
When the muffins are completely cool, place them in a freezer bag and freeze up to 2 months.
1 cup cooked grits (1 cup water and 3 Tablespoons of "Quick Grits")
1 3/4 cup milk, heated in the microwave
1 stick of butter, melted
4 eggs, beaten
1 box Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix
1 lb. Jimmy Dean Hot Sausage, browned with grease drained off
1 1/2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
Combine all ingredients except cheese. Pour into a greased casserole dish. Top with cheese. Bake at 325 for 45-50 minutes. YUM!!!
Family Style French Toast
INGREDIENTS:
2/3 cup packed brown sugar
½ cup butter, melted
2 tsp. ground cinnamon
6-8 eggs, lightly beaten
2 cups milk
1 loaf Texas toast bread
Jelly-Roll Pan
DIRECTIONS:
Combine brown sugar and cinnamon. Spread evenly over the bottom of a greased jelly roll pan. Drizzle melted butter over top of the sugar mixture. Combine milk and eggs in mixing bowl. Dip each slice of bread in and soak, then lay on top of sugar mixture in single layer of entire pan. Pour any remaining egg mixture over top of slices. Bake uncovered at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes until golden brown.
Pecan Pie Muffins
1 c light brown sugar
1 c pecans, chopped
1/2 c flour
2/3 c butter, melted
2 eggs, beaten
Spray 20 mini muffin cups with nonstick spray (I used butter); set aside. Preheat the oven to 350.
In a medium bowl, mix all of the ingredients together. Spoon the batter into the muffin cups evenly.
Don’t overfill the cups!
Bake for 18-20 minutes. The edges will be crispy. Do not over bake. Remove the muffins and cool on a wire rack.
~Freeze~
When the muffins are completely cool, place them in a freezer bag and freeze up to 2 months.
What's For Dinner, Mommy?
Sunni's Cheesy Enchiladas
Ingredients:
(I always half this recipe)
24 flour tortillas
2 lbs. ground beef
2 lbs. Velveeta, cubed
2 cans Rotel tomatoes
4 (8-oz.) cartons sour cream
¼ cup butter
2 med. onions, chopped
1 dash garlic salt
Salt & pepper to taste
Brown meat with one chopped onion. Add garlic salt and salt and pepper. Drain. Coat large sauce pan with non-stick spray. Add sour cream and tomatoes, mix well. Add butter and heat on medium heat. Add Velveeta, stirring constantly. Add the remaining chopped onion. Turn heat to low and simmer for about 5 min. The cheese/butter should be melted by this point. Add a portion of the sauce to meat. Spoon meat mixture into tortillas. Lay in casserole dish, seam down. Pour remaining sauce over enchiladas. Cover and bake for 15 min. at 350 degrees.
*I like to save a little bit of the cheese sauce to have with tortilla chips. Yum!
HAMBURGER GRAVY
Ingredients
2 pounds lean ground beef
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 quart milk
salt and pepper to taste
1 teaspoon onion salt
1 small onion, chopped (optional)
Directions
1.Place hamburger in a large, deep skillet. Crumble and cook over medium high heat until evenly brown. Remove from heat and sprinkle flour over cooked hamburger. Stir until evenly coated and all fat is absorbed.
2.Place skillet over medium heat, add 1/2 of milk and stir until gravy begins to thicken. Add remaining milk until desired consistency has been reached and gravy comes to a boil. Season with salt, pepper and onion salt.
3.Serve over mashed or boiled potatoes, toast or biscuits. Add fresh chopped onion if desired.
Serve with mashed potatoes and green beans.
Ingredients:
(I always half this recipe)
24 flour tortillas
2 lbs. ground beef
2 lbs. Velveeta, cubed
2 cans Rotel tomatoes
4 (8-oz.) cartons sour cream
¼ cup butter
2 med. onions, chopped
1 dash garlic salt
Salt & pepper to taste
Brown meat with one chopped onion. Add garlic salt and salt and pepper. Drain. Coat large sauce pan with non-stick spray. Add sour cream and tomatoes, mix well. Add butter and heat on medium heat. Add Velveeta, stirring constantly. Add the remaining chopped onion. Turn heat to low and simmer for about 5 min. The cheese/butter should be melted by this point. Add a portion of the sauce to meat. Spoon meat mixture into tortillas. Lay in casserole dish, seam down. Pour remaining sauce over enchiladas. Cover and bake for 15 min. at 350 degrees.
*I like to save a little bit of the cheese sauce to have with tortilla chips. Yum!
HAMBURGER GRAVY
Ingredients
2 pounds lean ground beef
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 quart milk
salt and pepper to taste
1 teaspoon onion salt
1 small onion, chopped (optional)
Directions
1.Place hamburger in a large, deep skillet. Crumble and cook over medium high heat until evenly brown. Remove from heat and sprinkle flour over cooked hamburger. Stir until evenly coated and all fat is absorbed.
2.Place skillet over medium heat, add 1/2 of milk and stir until gravy begins to thicken. Add remaining milk until desired consistency has been reached and gravy comes to a boil. Season with salt, pepper and onion salt.
3.Serve over mashed or boiled potatoes, toast or biscuits. Add fresh chopped onion if desired.
Serve with mashed potatoes and green beans.
Monday, January 4, 2010
What's For Dinner, Mommy?
La Madeleine Tomato-Basil Soup
Ingredients
4 cups tomatoes, peeled, cored and chopped, or 4 cups canned whole tomatoes, crushed
4 cups tomato juice
12 - 14 washed fresh basil leaves, plus additional for garnish, chopped
1 cup whipping cream
1/2 cup sweet, unsalted butter, softened
Salt to taste
1/4 teaspoon cracked black pepper
Crusty bread (optional)
Directions
Combine tomatoes and juice in saucepan. Simmer for 30 minutes over medium-low heat. Cool slightly, then place in a blender or food processor. Add basil and process to puree; this will have to be done in batches.
Return mixture to saucepan. Add cream and butter. Stir over low heat until butter and cream are incorporated. Stir in salt and pepper before serving. Garnish with more fresh basil and serve with fresh, crusty bread. Makes 8 servings.
Recipe by: La Madeleine French Bakery & Cafe, Dallas TX
Ingredients
4 cups tomatoes, peeled, cored and chopped, or 4 cups canned whole tomatoes, crushed
4 cups tomato juice
12 - 14 washed fresh basil leaves, plus additional for garnish, chopped
1 cup whipping cream
1/2 cup sweet, unsalted butter, softened
Salt to taste
1/4 teaspoon cracked black pepper
Crusty bread (optional)
Directions
Combine tomatoes and juice in saucepan. Simmer for 30 minutes over medium-low heat. Cool slightly, then place in a blender or food processor. Add basil and process to puree; this will have to be done in batches.
Return mixture to saucepan. Add cream and butter. Stir over low heat until butter and cream are incorporated. Stir in salt and pepper before serving. Garnish with more fresh basil and serve with fresh, crusty bread. Makes 8 servings.
Recipe by: La Madeleine French Bakery & Cafe, Dallas TX
The New Year
10 Ways to Reenergize Your Life in 2010
by Aby Garvey
The New Year offers you an ideal opportunity to start anew. You have a blank calendar and, in essence, a fresh canvas for your life. What will you fill yours with?
Ahead are simple ideas designed to inspire you to refresh and reenergize your life in the year ahead. Look at the ideas like they’re dishes on a buffet line. The notion isn’t to put all of these ideas on your plate (at least not all at once), but instead to pick just one or two that appeal to you most—just as you’d do in a real buffet line. Then, once you have some tasty ideas on your plate, you’ll make progress on them just like you would any good meal—one bite at a time.
1. Reflect. Start by taking a look back on the past year (or if you’re feeling really motivated, the past decade). What were the high points for you? How about the lows? What positive changes did you make in your home and life over the course of the last year? Both the highs and the lows offer opportunities to learn and grow. And by focusing on your successes over the past year, you will face 2010 with renewed confidence and optimism. So take a look back, tuck the good stuff away in your pocket, and then draft a short list of simple changes you can make to refresh your life in the New Year.
2. Renegotiate your goals. If you set any goals or New Year’s resolutions last year, take another look at them. Which ones do you still want to pursue or make progress on? Keep the good ones—those that inspire you and energize you, and renegotiate those goals that no longer fit your life or the direction you’d like to move in the year ahead.
3. Reprioritize your to-do list. With your renegotiated goals in mind, reprioritize your to-do list. Put at the top of your list those projects that move you closer to your new goals, and move the less important tasks to the bottom of your list.
4. Release anything that is getting in the way of your goals. Let go of any negative self-talk or self-doubt that is tripping you up or weakening your confidence. As Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right.” So first become aware of any beliefs or messages you give yourself that say you can’t do something you want to do, and replace them with a new, affirming message. For example, if you say, “I’m so disorganized” to yourself, replace that message with, “I’m learning to be organized!” In doing so, you clear the mental pathway for your success.
5. Reorganize. Let go of physical clutter that is getting in the way of creating the life you want. Let go of useless objects and items that represent past memories and life events that no longer fit where you’re headed now. And let go of items that don’t make you feel good. Eliminating clutter energizes your physical space, and in the process reenergizes your spirit.
6. Reschedule. As you transfer dates and appointments into your new calendar, reschedule your days to allocate a block of time for yourself. Use this time to make progress on your goals, get in a bit of exercise, or to simply relax and reenergize. Schedule time for yourself first, and then, work everything else around it.
7. Renegotiate your obligations. Use your blank calendar as an opportunity to take stock of your current obligations. Which appointments and events are you excited about, and which ones feel like drudgery? Give yourself permission to let yourself go of anything that isn’t working for you, is no longer necessary, or no longer makes you happy. In the past few months Jay and I did this exercise. He doesn’t enjoy unloading the dishwasher, and I had grown very tired of grocery shopping—so we decided to swap. I unload the dishwasher every day, and Jay handles the grocery shopping. The best part of this arrangement is that we both feel like we drew the long straw!
8. Replace an unhealthy habit with one new, healthier habit. Identify just one thing you habitually do that doesn’t serve you or is inconsistent with your goals. If you want to live in a clutter-free environment, but habitually place the daily mail in stacks on the counter, replace this habit with a new habit: handling the mail each and every day. By focusing on just one habit, and replacing it with a new more productive habit, you set yourself up for success.
9. Resolve to be kinder and gentler with yourself in 2010. Be the sort of friend to yourself that you would like to have in others. Speak kindly to yourself, and look for all the things you do well and do right. Pay less attention to your weaknesses and pay more attention to your strengths.
10. Remember to do one thing at a time. Over the past holiday season you enjoyed delicious meals and you savored them bite by bite. Remember that change, like enjoying a good meal, happens one delicious bite at a time. Go easy on yourself, be courageous, and allow yourself to create a life that fills your heart with joy.
www.simplify101.com
by Aby Garvey
The New Year offers you an ideal opportunity to start anew. You have a blank calendar and, in essence, a fresh canvas for your life. What will you fill yours with?
Ahead are simple ideas designed to inspire you to refresh and reenergize your life in the year ahead. Look at the ideas like they’re dishes on a buffet line. The notion isn’t to put all of these ideas on your plate (at least not all at once), but instead to pick just one or two that appeal to you most—just as you’d do in a real buffet line. Then, once you have some tasty ideas on your plate, you’ll make progress on them just like you would any good meal—one bite at a time.
1. Reflect. Start by taking a look back on the past year (or if you’re feeling really motivated, the past decade). What were the high points for you? How about the lows? What positive changes did you make in your home and life over the course of the last year? Both the highs and the lows offer opportunities to learn and grow. And by focusing on your successes over the past year, you will face 2010 with renewed confidence and optimism. So take a look back, tuck the good stuff away in your pocket, and then draft a short list of simple changes you can make to refresh your life in the New Year.
2. Renegotiate your goals. If you set any goals or New Year’s resolutions last year, take another look at them. Which ones do you still want to pursue or make progress on? Keep the good ones—those that inspire you and energize you, and renegotiate those goals that no longer fit your life or the direction you’d like to move in the year ahead.
3. Reprioritize your to-do list. With your renegotiated goals in mind, reprioritize your to-do list. Put at the top of your list those projects that move you closer to your new goals, and move the less important tasks to the bottom of your list.
4. Release anything that is getting in the way of your goals. Let go of any negative self-talk or self-doubt that is tripping you up or weakening your confidence. As Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right.” So first become aware of any beliefs or messages you give yourself that say you can’t do something you want to do, and replace them with a new, affirming message. For example, if you say, “I’m so disorganized” to yourself, replace that message with, “I’m learning to be organized!” In doing so, you clear the mental pathway for your success.
5. Reorganize. Let go of physical clutter that is getting in the way of creating the life you want. Let go of useless objects and items that represent past memories and life events that no longer fit where you’re headed now. And let go of items that don’t make you feel good. Eliminating clutter energizes your physical space, and in the process reenergizes your spirit.
6. Reschedule. As you transfer dates and appointments into your new calendar, reschedule your days to allocate a block of time for yourself. Use this time to make progress on your goals, get in a bit of exercise, or to simply relax and reenergize. Schedule time for yourself first, and then, work everything else around it.
7. Renegotiate your obligations. Use your blank calendar as an opportunity to take stock of your current obligations. Which appointments and events are you excited about, and which ones feel like drudgery? Give yourself permission to let yourself go of anything that isn’t working for you, is no longer necessary, or no longer makes you happy. In the past few months Jay and I did this exercise. He doesn’t enjoy unloading the dishwasher, and I had grown very tired of grocery shopping—so we decided to swap. I unload the dishwasher every day, and Jay handles the grocery shopping. The best part of this arrangement is that we both feel like we drew the long straw!
8. Replace an unhealthy habit with one new, healthier habit. Identify just one thing you habitually do that doesn’t serve you or is inconsistent with your goals. If you want to live in a clutter-free environment, but habitually place the daily mail in stacks on the counter, replace this habit with a new habit: handling the mail each and every day. By focusing on just one habit, and replacing it with a new more productive habit, you set yourself up for success.
9. Resolve to be kinder and gentler with yourself in 2010. Be the sort of friend to yourself that you would like to have in others. Speak kindly to yourself, and look for all the things you do well and do right. Pay less attention to your weaknesses and pay more attention to your strengths.
10. Remember to do one thing at a time. Over the past holiday season you enjoyed delicious meals and you savored them bite by bite. Remember that change, like enjoying a good meal, happens one delicious bite at a time. Go easy on yourself, be courageous, and allow yourself to create a life that fills your heart with joy.
www.simplify101.com
Friday, January 1, 2010
A New Year's Prayer for You
Father in heaven, thank You that You are All Authority in heaven and on earth. Thank You that You led each woman here today. You know her every need, her deepest desires, and her hurting places. Lord, as she seeks to know You more, would You open the eyes of her heart to see the wonderful things in Your law?
Father, we confess that so often we live lives that do not honor You. Our actions and our Words seem so far from You. But, we do want to live lives that please You, so we ask today for You to soften our hearts to receive what Your sweet Spirit has to speak to us. Give us a hunger and a thirst for Your Word. As You reveal it to us, help us through the power of Your Holy Spirit to listen and obey. You tell us Your Word is living and active, like a double-edged sword. Father, we invite You to use it now to penetrate the deepest recesses in our hearts.
Give us hearts that desire You and Your Truth above all else. Your Word tells us that if we lack Wisdom, we need only ask and You will give it liberally. So we ask today for a fresh filling of Your Wisdom. Give us the strength to walk in Your Truth, no matter the cost. Guard our hearts and keep our eyes fixed on You. Grow in us the fruit of Your Spirit…those things that will make us more like You. As we study Your Word, fill us and saturate us with more of You!!
Today, Father, we surrender our past and look to the future, thanking You that we are a new creation. No matter what we have done before today, we have Hope in You to take all things and use them for Your good and the good of Your Kingdom. Thank You that You are Faithful. Thank You that we can make our plans but You will direct our steps. We trust in You to do a mighty work in us through us this year and ca rry it on to completion until the day we step into eternity with You.
Lord, we love You. Make our lives a living testimony of Your Love. We ask this in
the powerful and mighty name of Your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord who will do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine. AMEN.
Father, we confess that so often we live lives that do not honor You. Our actions and our Words seem so far from You. But, we do want to live lives that please You, so we ask today for You to soften our hearts to receive what Your sweet Spirit has to speak to us. Give us a hunger and a thirst for Your Word. As You reveal it to us, help us through the power of Your Holy Spirit to listen and obey. You tell us Your Word is living and active, like a double-edged sword. Father, we invite You to use it now to penetrate the deepest recesses in our hearts.
Give us hearts that desire You and Your Truth above all else. Your Word tells us that if we lack Wisdom, we need only ask and You will give it liberally. So we ask today for a fresh filling of Your Wisdom. Give us the strength to walk in Your Truth, no matter the cost. Guard our hearts and keep our eyes fixed on You. Grow in us the fruit of Your Spirit…those things that will make us more like You. As we study Your Word, fill us and saturate us with more of You!!
Today, Father, we surrender our past and look to the future, thanking You that we are a new creation. No matter what we have done before today, we have Hope in You to take all things and use them for Your good and the good of Your Kingdom. Thank You that You are Faithful. Thank You that we can make our plans but You will direct our steps. We trust in You to do a mighty work in us through us this year and ca rry it on to completion until the day we step into eternity with You.
Lord, we love You. Make our lives a living testimony of Your Love. We ask this in
the powerful and mighty name of Your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord who will do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine. AMEN.
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About Me
- ml4estsmommy
- I am a very blessed SAHM. I am blessed with an abundant amount of grace from my Creator and Savior. He has blessed me with an amazing man as my life long best friend, husband and father of our two precious gifts of energy and life. My days are full with the activities of homekeeping, and the joys and adventures of two healthy and energetic kiddos. I am basking in His grace daily.
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